My Toddler Has Separation Anxiety

This situation is very new to us but, recently Baby Alex started waking up in the middle of the night crying. We usually let him cry for awhile but lately he distinctly sounds "scared" and when I go to check on him he immediately clings his nails into my back OUCH. I eventually calm him down but by that point he is wide awake. Most of the time I put him to bed awake and let him fall asleep on his own, and usually if he wakes up he can get himself back to sleep. Up until now! My first thought was that maybe he was having "nightmares" or maybe he had an "Ear Infection" or something I didn't notice. So of course me being me I took him in to see his pediatrician to make sure everything was okay.

According to his pediatrician "waking up at night is fairly common in his age group. The major cause is not being put to sleep awake but being held by a parent until the child falls asleep". But that didn't apply to me. The doctor then said it looked like he was suffering from "Separation Anxiety". Basically he is at the age were the out of sight out of mind thing just dosent work for him anymore. In his mind when he wakes up and I'm not there he may think that I'm gone forever. Seriously???

So basically the doctor gave me a printout with a list of things to do to help him overcome this stage and get back to his all-night and nap time sleep routine.

Here are some suggestions, courtesy of developmental pediatrician Dr. Barton Schmitt:

• Continue to provide him with a pleasant bedtime ritual, and whenever he starts to look drowsy, place him in his crib. (Your child's last waking memory needs to be of the crib and mattress, not of you) This helps make sure he can put himself to sleep when he wakes up at night.
• When he wakes up at night, do not stay inside his room longer than one minute. Don't turn on lights. Keep the visit supportive and reassuring. Act sleepy. Whisper, "shhh, everyone's sleeping" and add something positive "mommy loves you" or "your almost asleep." Never show anger or punish him during these visits. If you hug him he probably won't let go, so just touch him gently and help him find a security object, such as a stuffed animal, or a blanket. This may go better if dad goes in.
• Do not rock or play with him or bring him into your bed. You should not remove him from his crib at all. Any brief contact will reward him to want to continue the behavior. Most young children will cry when you leave the room, but then fall asleep.
• Find a security object. A security (transitional) object is something that helps a waking child sleep. It comforts your child and helps your child separate from you. This object can be a stuffed animal or blanket. Include the object into your ritual before bedtime and tuck it into the crib next to your child.
• Check on him every 20 minutes while he is crying, but make your visits brief and boring. After he learns to put himself back to sleep, awakening with crying usually stops In a few nights.
• Don't change his wet diapers during the night. Change the diaper only if it is soiled or your treating a diaper rash. If you must change him use as little light as possible, do it quickly and do not provide any entertainment, and if he is standing up in his crib at bedtime, you can leave him in that position. Just try once to get him to settle down and lie down. If he refuses or pulls himself back up, leave him that way. He can lie down without your help. Encouraging him to lie down over and over can soon become a game.
• Consider reducing the length of his afternoon nap.

I feel that some of these points are good ideas and I will consider them all these next couple of days, but I honestly know that I probably won't be able to help myself. I can't stand to see my baby upset, and although everyone says I spoil him, that is what I'm here for right?

-Bre